What does it mean to be a high value person? I've heard discussions regarding high value more in the last year than ever in my life, so I thought it may be useful to elaborate on what it means exactly to be a high value person. According to dictionary.com definitions,
"Value" means: relative worth, value or importance
"High" means: in or to a high rank or estimate
So, with that much being said, it means to have high worth. This does not imply in a financial sense as much as it does the type of person you choose to be.
Self Reflect:
We are all responsible for our actions, regardless of how easy it is to blame others when life is not perfect. Self reflection can be difficult, especially when you don't like the person you see. The good news is you and only you have the power to change yourself. When you are in denial about your imperfections, you inadvertently block yourself from growing and changing in a positive way. A problem which is never recognized cannot be fixed. Additionally, denying self recognition and thus growth only hurts you. Besides, no person is completely good or bad, we are all human after all.
Compliment Your Strengths:
Recognize your strengths and compliment them. If you're a great cook, then cook meals for your friends and family. Bring homemade cookies when you are invited to someone else's home or cook your partners favorite meal. If you're a good listener, then be an ear to listen. Often others do not want advice, they just simply want someone to listen to them and feel important. It's easy to become self-absorbed and to not really listen to what others have to say, but rather just waiting for our turn to talk. So give the other person your undivided attention when they're talking, just like you would want them to do for you. These acts of kindness not only share your talents with others, but also make you a high value person that others wish to be around.
Have Integrity:
The definition of integrity is: "The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness." Keep your word at all cost. If you cannot commit, then simply don't do it. Perhaps you don't want to go somewhere, but feel obligated to commit in the moment, knowing you can just back out later. Do not do this as is makes you flaky and untrustworthy, thus lacking integrity. A kind way to say no is by simply stating that you have another obligation or commitment and cannot make it. Often people will not bother you further when you say this. If they do, just kindly state you prefer not to say. Another obligation can be anything really, spending time with your children, catching up on sleep, cleaning your house, etc...
But whatever you do, do not gossip about others, even if everyone else around you is. This may seem like it will help your social relationships in the moment if you chime in, but in reality it will not. Not only will this cause guilt, but this will teach others to not trust you. If you feel you may make others uncomfortable if you do not add to the gossip, then casually leave the room. The bathroom is always a place people will never question you leaving to. Keep in mind that listening to the gossip is also a form of participation even if you refrain from verbally contributing.
Don't Let Others Determine Your Self Worth:
I know this sounds counterintuitive as this whole post is about being high value, but keep in mind your value is not only up to others, but mostly up to you. You know better than anyone about the choices you make, thoughts you have and actions you take. Now in the world of internet and social media, people have the choice to be great or awful with no one knowing their true identity. The person who always knows is you. Choose to not be the negative reviewer, troll, etc.... but instead make a point to review people and places whom with you were truly pleased.
I've said it before, that no one can make you feel inferior or unworthy without your permission. Have confidence in who you are and when someone is trying to belittle you, don't let them. Some people love to manipulate others, do not let yourself be a victim of this. You have the power to stop it and remove yourself from these people. If you must interact with others like this, then establish your dominance in a composed way. By doing so, others will soon learn you are not exploitable and will back off, leaving you alone.
It's also quite important to compliment yourself. This is not being arrogant or boastful, it is simply recognizing the gifts and talents God has bestowed upon you to share with the world.
Be Kind
We all love to see ourselves in our best light and tend to look away when we our not proud of our behaviors, especially when frustrations and opinions get the best of us. With that much being said, do your best to be kind to everyone, even when you don't feel obligation to do so. If it is someone you think you may never see again, you may be surprised. For example, I knew of two women who worked together. One was leaving the place of employment to become a realtor. The co-worker had intended to use her as her realtor a year later, but when she found out that the realtor had said many negative things about her, she decided to go with another realtor. Had that woman treated the other with kindness, she would've made a house sale resulting in several thousand dollars in profit down the road. The point here is that we are all connected whether we want to admit it or not. Do not always look at people for what they can do for you, but what you can do for them. Good deeds come full circle, just as bad ones do. The giver and the receiver are one in the same. Be kind to others and they will be to you. Do kind acts and they will be reciprocated. Practicing kindness will increase your self confidence, self worth and value as a person.
Honestly self reflecting, complimenting your strengths, having integrity, knowing your self worth, and being kind are all ways to be a high value person. Practicing these things will take time, but will make you proud when you look at your reflection in the mirror. It is not arrogance, but confidence knowing that you are giving back to others, the world and yourself. Know that you are being the best version of yourself and using all the wonderful talents which are unique to you and you only. This is being a high value person.
